Dealing with failure in a musical performance

Welcome. I'm Robert Estrin, here at virtualsheetmusic.com and livingpianos.com.

Today's subject is very important; How to deal with failure in musical performance.

Anybody who's played music has had at least one experience in their lives, which was a disaster. How can this be? How can you deal with it? This is what we're going to talk about today and it's very important.

Now, why is it so important? It's because we are all human. We are not machines. The whole aspect of live performance is the wonder of what's going to happen. That's why people go to the circus or watch sports, as well as musical events and musical theater and things, because there's the element of chance. You don't know what's going to happen. Sometimes you have amazingly pleasant surprises and other times there are unpleasant surprises.

So what do you do? You play a musical performance you've prepared for, for months. You go out and you bomb. At least in your own mind, you feel that way.

Well, believe it or not, when you are done with that musical performance, first of all, what looms so large in your mind is not a big deal to the audience. Why is that? Because the audience doesn't have the same frame of reference that you have. You know your best, they don't. And if you don't hit your best, you're going to be very very upset with yourself, but the audience doesn't know any different. So the audience is going to enjoy what they enjoy. And you don't want to spoil it for them.

So, if you've done a performance and you feel you did miserably, and somebody comes over to you and they say, "Oh, thank you. I really enjoyed that." The worst thing you can ever say to them is say, "No. It was terrible."

Why is it so bad? Well, obviously you think it's because it makes you look bad, but that's not it. That's certainly part of it. There's no reason to tarnish your career just because you feel bad about a performance. The real reason is that it's an insult to the audience. Somebody came, they went out of their house, they drove there. They sat through a performance, they enjoyed it. They took the time to tell you that they liked it. For you to then tell them, "No. You're wrong. It was bad and you shouldn't have enjoyed it." It's insulting their intelligence. Let them enjoy it. If they enjoyed it, that's their business. Doesn't mean that you won't go back to the practice room and put together a better performance for next time.

So here are some of the benefits of failure. Failure is one of the best teachers you have because you will learn things from a failed performance that you would never learn in a successful performance, sometimes. You will find weaknesses you didn't know were there. It gives you the opportunity to strengthen your weaknesses. So you must look at failure as a learning opportunity.

It's just a performance. No one dies. It's not like the trapeze artist. We not only have a net, we can't even fall. We're in good shape. It's just music. We get very attached and we're very concerned about our own musical performances. But you've got to realize it's all about your own ego. And the audience isn't there for your ego. They are there for their own enjoyment. Make it as enjoyable for them as possible. Take failure as a learning experience. And prepare like crazy for future performances, particularly after one that you are not are very happy with.

So, if you do have a devastating experience, you do not want to allow it to regenerate itself. Because, the worst thing that can happen is if you have a mishap in a performance, you start locking your brain, thinking, "Oh, what's going to happen next?" And make a self-fulfilling prophecy of mistakes. The same thing could happen in multiple performances if you start thinking that way.

So the first step is to prepare furiously for your next performance and try to make it a low-stress performance. If you just had a performance that was disappointing to you, next time you perform, maybe just do an in-home concert. Or play informally for friends, just so you get comfortable and get their reassurance and the positive feedback of an audience. And to know yourself, that you can get through it again. And build up to more important performances with the experience of performing the very same program for more than one small audience before going out when the high-pressure stakes again. Start building positive experiences so you develop your confidence again.

And this is the most important thing. Keep your attitude positive and be prepared so you can enjoy your performance. Because you can practice and practice, and if you go out there and even play accurately but you're not enjoying it, guess what? Your audience won't either. We are expressing emotions. So how you feel about your music is vital. Keep yourself positive and keep the love for your music, whatever it takes. That's the most valuable asset you have.

Thanks for joining me. Robert Estrin here at virtualsheetmusic.com and livingpianos.com.

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